Getting In Touch With My Inner Black Man

Apparently it’s already mid-term week here at Duke…and I just thought I randomly had a lot of tests and papers. So, I decided to take a break from this “busy” schedule to speak about something that happened to me last night. Before a Thursday Improv performance, one of the sophomore (not sophomoric) guys in the group said that he couldn’t wait for Friday’s step show. He’s an Asian hip-hop dancer and said that the annual step show is amazing and a must-see. Now my fellow DUI members have become my “brothers” and I look to them for “advice.” So, I decided I’d check out the step show on Friday night at 8. Little did I know what I was getting myself into.

I arrived at 8 to the show, which was being held in the largest auditorium on campus. Tickets were $10 but I figured it would be worth it. As I took my seat in the theater I began to realize that I was a bit out of place. I hadn’t noticed until I opened the program that the step show was put on by all the black fraternities on campus. I looked around a saw I was 1 of only 3 white guys in attendance. I sat next to a guy from my dorm floor that said he was only there because he was expected to “represent.” Oy!

A DJ at the front played loud, hip-hop music and the crowd was dancing in their seats (like at Mama Mia!), oblivious to the fact that the show was already starting. The “hosts” came out and said some stuff that was incomprehensible to me but the audience seemed to understand because they laughed and shouted back more incomprehensible noise. Not to be racist, but it was like the Vibe Awards crossed with Showtime at the Apollo. I thought that I might just sneak out but I did pay a “hefty” $10.

The show began and I was glad I stayed. “Stepping,” for all of you white-Jews reading this, is like Stomp but without the household objects. It’s basically rhythmic dancing mixed with fraternity/sorority cheers. They danced to Jay-Z, Outkast, Beyonce and James Blunt…just kidding, they didn’t play Jay-Z. It was fun, enlightening and ultimately very entertaining. So, the moral of the story is if there is a step show at your campus, go…but be sure to go with a big group of Caucasian friends. And finally, as the audience at the step show might say, “UNC wack balls, beeotch. Slap mah fro!”

This Title is Funny, Trust Me

The University of Chicago from above.
Pierce Tower should be circled in red if you click on the picture.

So I've survived my first week of college classes, which is reassuring. And yet, it still doesn't feel like I'm a college student. I have the little laptop bag across my shoulder, I've discussed how we know whether a given object is real, I've spent 80 minutes in Media Aesthetics talking about a single painting (Las Meninas). But I don't feel any different.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it hasn't happened yet. I still am spending half of my brain power thinking about whether sentences I hear contain puns and/or double entendres. I am still wearing different colored socks. Perhaps next week my life will dramatically change. But I doubt it.

Maybe I should talk a bit more about my classes. I am in four - the aforementioned Media Aesthetics, which is for my Humanities Core requirement; Calculus, which I was really hoping to avoid but the humor of my teacher (Professor Smuckler) getting chalk all over his shirt on a regular basis makes up for it; Democracy and the Social Sciences for my Social Science core; and Music Theory which is an elective and so far is the best of the four.

We also had our RSO (Registered Student Organizations) fair today, and now I'm on about 10 more mailing lists than I was this morning from juggling to music to politics to mock trial. I spent about an hour and a half juggling with the juggling people. I also got enough free candy to make an entire meal. Dinner. I ate candy for dinner. Anyway, We'll see how many of those RSOs I can cram into my schedule, in between writing papers about Las Meninas and calculus homework.

Also, Chicago is the only place I have been to where there is a restaurant that serves you from behind bulletproof glass. It's Harold's Chicken, and it's really good, but you order from a person who's behind bulletproof glass and they give you your order in a rotating bulletproof glass thing. See the picture. Also, they have a sign saying they won't take your order if you are on a cell phone.

Birthday festivities

So today I am legal. No, I haven't bought any porn, cigarettes, lottery tickets, or infomercial stuff yet. I spent most of today studying for my 2 tests (Women's Studies and Calculus) and writing journal assignments for Jazz class (it's amazing how many paragraphs one can pull out of one's buttocks about 10 seconds of music). However, I did party today. The college brought in a DJ, moonbounce, giant inflatable slide and free food just for my birthday, and a lot of people skipped classes (I even got off work) to party with me.

Ok, maybe not.

Today was Lake Day, the annual day of Blue spirit celebration (no, we don't have a mascot. It's just "Go Blue!"). There was merriment and rejoicing all around. And fried dough (oh the goodness!). However, thanks to Ronnie, my First Year Mentor [FYM], half the campus knew it was my birthday. She posted it on a couple of boards, and I guess it spread. Either that or the frisbee team started with the stalking and they were just everywhere I went.

Also, in keeping with Matthew's revelation about his true academic passions, I had an epiphany 2 days ago. As I was sitting in Women's Studies class, discussing heterosexuality and hegemonic masculinity, I realized something. I want to be a Women's Studies major. I came in thinking I'll do Media Arts & Sciences, because it looks pretty cool and it's quite practical. But then I started thinking, and am I really going to love it and be passionate about it? I like art and I can do computer graphics/layouts well, but intensely for 4 years? Women's Studies is continuously blowing my mind, I want more. And I can go abroad with it, and it's just as great for business school (MBA in marketing, anyone?).
Basically, it has made me re-examine the past 4 years and almost every single friendship I have. It's wonderful, and I've had several revelations already.

Relationships, Neuroscience and Phemerones

Most people think of me as a math/science guy, and I've chosen to post this to basically dispel that notion, which I previously thought was correct.

The first part of my post will dispel the science part of that statement. While I always thought I was one, college leads to discoveries, the first which was made last night. As I sat through a mandatory lecture entitled, "Venomous Fish and Vicious Snails," essentially on neuroscience, my mind started to wander. It was at that point that I realized: I'm bored out of my mind. In fact, I've felt the same way in my chemistry and physics class, and that I'm always zoning out constantly. Since I've been here, the only homework I've done has been my calculus and computer programming homework, while my Physics and Chemistry has sat idly by untouched. It was at this point that I asked myself: if I couldn't pay attention, I didn't want to do the work, and I wondered why I took the class, then do I really like science? And when I realized the answer was no, I laughed to myself. As some of you know, the name of program is the Integrated Science Program, which means that, as long as I stay in, I'll probably be bored in 50% of my classes in college. Well, that's what college is about: finding your true interests.

The second part of the post is a part of my personality that often stays hidden. As some of you may know, my mother is a therapist, and I this made me think, during the same lecture, as to how my relationships and friendships have begun at college. The first interesting one is a girl named Lina, whom I manage to see all the time and I thoroughly enjoy talking to. How we met is an interesting story. My first night on campus, I was talking to a girl whom I liked talking to a lot, but I stopped talking to her to go play ultimate Frisbee. While I was going to talk to her when I came back, I couldn't find her, so instead I started up a conversation with two people who happened to live in my building. A week later, I ran into one of those two kids, Brian, at a president's convocation, and I met one of his friends, Neena, who happened to leave on my floor. We had lunch, along with some more new friends, including Tapasia, and later exchanged numbers with all of them. Later, I became friends with Neena, and I invited her to a Jewish party with me. She invited Tapasia, and we went down to the lobby to wait for her. As we were waiting, we saw one girl doing her Physics homework in the lounge. Her name was Lina, and I believe we are in the process of becoming close friends. Which basically means, that through five people I met one person.

The one other brief thing about relationships I want to say is to talk about phemerones, or something like it. There are three people I met at college: Neena, Aanad, and Jess--that with fifteen minutes of meeting them, I could tell that I wanted to be friends with them. Now, they didn't say that much, but I believe the reason is phemerones. When I met them, I could just tell that there was some part of their personality that I wanted to get to know better, and since that moment in time, I've gotten to know them better. Now, theoretically, it would seem impossible to know such a thing after such a small interaction: however, I believe they felt the same way, and I'm pretty sure that they will become some of my closest friends here.

Anyways, hope the rest of your college experience is going well. Remember to post, and as my good friend Evan always says: its curtains for you!

Why You Shouldn't Order Things Off the Internet

I know, I know. I haven't posted anything, so this is my inaugural post. It's a story, which I think is kind of funny. All the pictures are big enough to see what the text says.

So, my friends around the dorm have taken to calling me George Michael, not after the singer-songwriter, but after the character in Arrested Development. I got the feeling that this nickname was not going anywhere any time soon, to I decided to embrace it by buying a signed photo of Michael Cera, the actor who plays George Michael, off eBay. Well, I had been waiting anxiously for it, and it finally came today. Or at least I thought it did. The package did say "Daniel Koblenz" on it, and the receipt did say "Quantity 1: MICHAEL CERA hand signed 8x10 photograph," however, when I looked at the next page, I saw a letter, on which the first line read:

Hello Daniel. Here is the Katherine Hepburn strand of hair you have recently purchased from me through eBay.

I looked at the next page, and saw a piece of paper with a few pictures of Katherine on it, and in the corner, what looked liked a pubic hair under a transparent sticker. As soon as I realized what I was holding, I burst out laughing so loudly, the kid in the room next to me (who by the way slept through a class this morning he is supposed to be in with me) woke up.

It only got better from there.

I took the hair out of the bag and found the certificate of authenticity, signed by John Reznikoff, who holds the Guinness world record for the largest celebrity hair collection. Plus, to prove it is real, there is a xerox copy of a letter in which somebody named Bob Alles describes how he used to rummage through the dumpster outside her house (244 East 49 street, NYC) to find memorabilia such as hair, fan mail, and clothing. He mentions how he is sure the hair belonged to 'Kate' because over his four year career of garbage digging (1988-1992), he never once found any other type of hair in the dumpster.

So now, I think i am going to keep the hair, not only because Katherine is now dead and the hair will be worth thousands in a few years, but because I think it is much funnier than the George Michael autograph, and maybe I'll start a celebrity hair collection to try and dethrone John Reznikoff.

30.4368499 Days (That’s The Average Length Of A Month or A Possible Title For A New “Rent” Song)

Long title—I know. It’s all I could think of. But I digress. I’m sitting in the Raleigh/Durham airport waiting for my flight home for the (high) holidays and normally I’d just be listening to some music pre-flight. However, my 5pm flight has been delayed 2 ½ hours…it would have been faster to drive. Naturally, I bought some Internet time and figured this would be a good time to write a “reflective” blog entry.

Being that I was the first person to depart for college, I am also the first person to spend exactly one month in college (I left on the 22nd and I am going home on the 22nd). It’s probably been one of the craziest months of my life (as documented in my many posts), but really when I think about the first month, it has just been the “prologue” for the rest of my college career. Trust me I hate “novel” analogies, or anything having to do with books…but hear me out:

Everything up until this point has been a set up for the next four years. I have established a good group of friends, joined a major co-curricular club (apparently we have 3 shows next week, plus practices…Oy!) and have gotten back into the swing of classes and work. In fact, today was my very first test of college and on Tuesday my first short term paper is due. In other words, I actually have some semblance of a routine.

Sorry, I’ve gotten all mushy. Of course, not everything is perfect. Duke couldn’t win a football game against our former high school even if “that school” forfeited. I speak less to my roommate than Helen Keller spoke to Anne Sullivan. I can’t stand drunken people trying to give me hugs…actually I can’t stand hugs in general (especially 10-foot ones…Ben knows what I’m talking about). I use my food points way too often, rather than just eating in the marketplace off my meal plan. I’ve become dependent on my iPod to fall asleep at night and have created a playlist for everyday of the week (a little obsessive, right?). But really, none of the above “complaints” are all that important. I’m just trying to kill time in the airport. Maybe I should stop typing so fast.

Hopefully, there’ll be more “interesting” things to talk about during my second month at Duke but so far so good. I’m actually feeling so good that I won’t make a degrading remark about UNC…just kidding, they will eternally suck!

Onto Thin Air

The UMD activities fair finally took place, yesterday and today, and I went to it twice hoping to get a more in depth glance at what I could participate in at Maryland. Often, when I asked college kids on my prospective college visits what they would have done differently if they could do it over, they'd say: "I just wish I had gotten involved earlier." I didn't want that to be me. I also had read about the exploits of David (down at the unmentionable school that starts with a D), and wanted something similar. Improv is a great activity for him, but what could be the counterpart for me?

On Wednesday I went the "First Look Fair" and was quite overwhelmed. There were a lot of tables with everyone hawking free stuff, or trying to get your attention. Problem was, there wasn't too much I was interested in. There was some cool stuff, but nothing that really made me say: "Oh! I want to sign up for that!"

I came back to the dorm, and Jonathan the roomy pulled out a flyer and said: "Did you see this? An open house tomorrow night. We should go to it." I nodded. "Sounds cool."

"Oooh, but there's also this free comedy show the same night," he said.
"Good point."
"Whatever, let's go to the open house. That might actually lead to something."
"Yeah, you're definitely right," I said, and it was decided.

Today I went back to the fair, but there wasn't that much new to see. I got some free stuff (2 frisbees and a keychain, not to mention roomy got a flag and a bunch of posters), signed up for some more stuff that I was lukewarm about, and then took off for a class. As the time was approaching for the open house we were getting a little more excited. This could be cool.

Well, that went out of our mind when we saw the meeting room. It was attached to the side of the diner, but had plaster all over the walls, and was quite bare. There wasn't much too it, and it seemed a little run down. But we found the room we needed to go to by following the bubbling sound of voices, and were ushered into a very crowded room. "I'm sorry we don't have more applications," said someone who was quite obviously in charge. "We'll try and run some more off quickly."

Roomy and I were looking around with wide eyes, trying to figure out what was going on, when someone came into the room and asked: "Anyone here for sports radio? Raise your hands." Roomy and I raised our hands, and looked around the room. We were the only ones with our hands up. "No competition," we shrugged to one another.

Off we went, following someone named Adam. "MAN of the HOUSE" read his nametag. "We're in the middle of a Q and A session with Bob Carpenter, actually," he explained to us. "We'll slip you in, and afterwards, let you know the deal about radio." He led us to a room, but before we went in, we ran into a couple people standing outside of it. "Umm, we need this room," they said to Adam. "We have to move again? Damn..." They shrugged an apology and we walked in. "We're gonna have to go out into the hall, sorry," Adam announced.

"You know, there'd be a lot of announcers in the business I know who wouldn't be happy about this, but I'm not one of them," he joked. Bob Carpenter, if you don't know, is the play by play guy for the Washington Nationals on the Mid-Atlantic Sports Network (MASN). For the next hour we got to stand in the hallway and ask questions of a guy who's worked for ESPN, and has done baseball play by play games for over 20 years. And if that wasn't enough, here's the kicker:

"By the way, if you guys want to come down to a Nats' game next week, and watch how we call it from inside the press box, or inside the producer truck, we'd love to have you. Not too many kids, but maybe the 10 to 15 of you that are here now could come down, and we'd get you press passes."

An incredible experience, and when it was over, we learned more about possibly getting a show, or broadcasting games. "You can start out almost immediately with your own sports talk show, that'll go out over the internet. We just need you to pick some time slots. And if you want to work some games, that'll be tough, but if you put in the time producing games, help us out when we need help, and prove yourself a good announcer, you'll definitely move up the ranks quickly."

"When I was a freshman," the sports director continued, "this place was a dump. Sports radio was very low on the radar. And now, here we are with Bob Carpenter coming in here, we're broadcasting every major sport and even starting to do softball next semester...this place is on the rise. It's an exciting time to join WMUC - I wish I was a freshman now. So feel lucky."

If this night was anything like what my further experience will be, I sure as hell will.