Funny Florida Follies: Part I

Last night I returned from fall break. Normally, I would have gone home for those five days, but instead it was time for a Duke University Improv road trip. There are many stories from the amazing trip so I’ll break up this sure to be long-ish entry into chapters. I guess that makes this paragraph the Prologue.

Chapter 1: Baby You Can Drive My Car

Because of complicated circumstances only half the group drove down to Vero Beach, Florida. I was lucky enough to drive down and fly back. We packed the car at 1:30 PM and headed down south for what was supposed to be a 10-hour drive. In the car was me, Scott (freshman), Matt (junior), Brandon (junior) and Steve (senior). At first to kill some time we played the mileage game where Steve took out a map, named two cities and we had to guess the mileage Price is Right style (closest without going over). I stunned the car by guessing 2 distances exactly and earning two tiebreaker points. However, Brandon made a strong comeback in the “Double Jeopardy” round and ultimately won the game. OK, one hour down…9 to go.

Then we played two truths and a lie where you name three personal events and the others have to guess which one is a lie. One of my truths, and a story they found particularly weird, was that one of my friends attempted to commit bestiality. Of course, now they think Michael F (you know who) is the fake name I use when I describe something disgusting I’ve done. With many hours still to go we moved onto the meat of the car ride…the telling of life stories. My family seemed kind of normal compared to the other members’ stories of bipolar mothers, wives hiring private eyes to spy on husbands, bloody anal cavities (don’t ask), phone sex with cousins (ask me later), and one member told us that he “did” his girlfriend in Cameron Indoor Stadium.

After this life story fun, it was time for dinner. The upperclassmen told us that we had to eat at a road trip staple…The Cracker Barrel. The food was terrible but the meal did produce a funny moment. Keith was training waitresses and one of his trainees, Meredith, came up to him and showed him a $50 dollar bill. “Look at this tip I got,” Meredith exclaimed in a southern droll. “I guess it’s good,” answered Keith. Then Meredith uttered the priceless, “My ass it’s good, it’s fantastic!”

We hopped back into the car with about 4 more hours to go. With five manly guys fit snuggly into a car, we did what any group of guys would do…we put on Natasha Benningfield. Things got weird as we sang along to her music (we did a great rendition of “Unwritten”), Justin Timberlake’s “Sexy/Back,” JoJo, and Nelly Furtado…it was weird, but fun…in a weird way. Luckily this girly singing took up enough time to help us reach Florida without a boring moment. We arrived at 2:30 AM to find the 5 other members of the group already at the house. However, there was also something at the house we didn’t expect to see at all. It was…

To be continued. (Because I’m tired right now)